I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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