your thong is hanging out like whoa
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
