Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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