Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
