Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
