haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
