Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
my liver is dry heaving
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
