so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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