that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
