I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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