yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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