he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize