his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
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They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
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Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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