Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
