Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
