I don't think brook has ever known best
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
