how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
