I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The struggles of a small town man whore
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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