Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
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Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
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