I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
