I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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