I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
