too bad you live with your parents still
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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