Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
