Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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