you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
