i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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