I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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