Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
