If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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