We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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