his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
NoShamevember. You game?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
