You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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