i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
