She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
