Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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