I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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