My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
