There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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