please come you make the beer taste better
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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