So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
