you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
