So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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