I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
