He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
