The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
