i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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