I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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