Already got asked if we're dating
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
