Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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