Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
