I wannas sexs uuuuu
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
