sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize