ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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