I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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