:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
