I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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