Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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