It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
