I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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