She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
