True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hippo gnu deer
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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